Brandy

I’ve had two great days so far.  However, I’ve noticed that my desire to eat the crappy stuff is after I’m home from a long hard day of school, work, gym, and taking care of my son.  I can see how single moms are generally heavier.  i would be too if I didn’t have my husband to help me some.  There really is too few hours in a day, but I try to make them the best hours because you never know when they are your last hours.

Here we go again.  Let’s hope I stay with it this time.  Here’s to me.  CHEERS!!

I know that 6 lbs is too much in one week but I may gain some of it back.  Don’t know.  I lost it for two reasons.  1) I’ve had the flu for the past week and so has my son.  He was already too thin and now he looks like a starvation victim.  2) I am highly depressed at the moment.  Nothing that I can really talk about because…I just can’t.  Food tastes terrible.  I feel sick when it goes in my mouth, and more so when it goes down my throat.  Then as soon as it hits my belly I feel nauseated.  I have thrown up once because I feel so disgusting.  I feel like I could just waste away and no one would notice.  I haven’t been noticed for quite some time, so if I waste away slowly it may truly go undetected. 

Wow…I’m so tired.  But I feel great.  For 2 mornings in a row I’ve woken up and gone running.  It’s good for me because I don’t rush around in the afternoon trying to fit in a workout.  I’ll still pop into the gym a couple of days a week to do a little bit of resistance, but I really do already feel a change in just 2 days.  I’m not even running fast.  Just moderate to intense depending on the hills and the wind.  It’s cold though.  I’m wearing three layers everywhere accept my face, and still only sweating a little bit because of the cold.  Enough for now.  I’m not as exciting as I used to be because I’ve been so down.  Forgive me for that.  Soon enough though, I’ll be back to my old self.

I’m doing better and feeling better.  I had an interesting day at school and now my little man and I are going to go run some errands.  I was starving on my way home from school and I kept trying to pull over and get fast food, but I kept changing my mind.  Finally when I picked up my son I made a stop at a deli and got a reasonably sized turkey sandwich and some pretzels.  Before I would have gotten a happy meal from McD’s which would not make me quite as happy in the long run.  I surprised myself today.  But those pretzels sure have made me thirsty.  Just an excuse to drink more H2O. 

It’s really early on tuesday morning and I forced myself to get up early and go excercise.  I feel good so far although I’m really tired from getting up all night to take my son.  He has come down with a form of strep so he was burning up all night.  I have two classes today and my inlaws are going to watch him for me and then we are going to nap all afternoon.  I’m so tired.  I hope everyone has a great day.

Thanks for the advice from my friends.  I’m giving it another go.  I’ll be able to blog more efficiently tomorrow but until then many blessings.

Hey Buddies.

You know how people say a little less talk and a lot more action?  Well I tried that.  I quit blogging and got my butt off the couch.  I wrote down everything that I ate and I excercised like crazy and all of my pants are even tighter than they were before.  I do not understand.  The scale didn’t budge and neither did my waistline.  I want to cry right now but I have guests coming for dinner and I just did my makeup.  I don’t know what else to do.  Please help me!! 

I really hate christmas shopping.  I love christmas but shopping is so uncomfortable.  Especially for my mother.  My mom made me so angry today and I just can’t figure out why.  Last year for her birthday I bought her this really neat fortune cookie.  It was huge and it had a message inside that said happy birthday love us yadayadayada.  I thought it was cool and unique and different.  Well, she hated it.  She didn’t say that exactly but I know my mom and I could just tell.  Well, for christmas I feel like she’s pushing me to buy her designer perfume and other crap that is meaningless and she says don’t worry, I like surprises.  I told her, no you don’t.  And she says accept for fortune cookies.  I yelled at her and told her how ungrateful she is and now I feel bad but I don’t feel bad because that was rude. 

Then I go christmas shopping for my nieces and nephew and I don’t know what to get them.  The toy store is ridiculous.  A woman actually took a toy out of my hand and told me that she had been looking for that for her son and can’t find it anywhere else.  Then she places it in her basket and walks off before I had a chance to figure out what actually happened.  Well, I was so busy today, too, that I had no time to cheat on my diet so I guess that’s a good thing.  And for those of you who remember, my husband is doing great too.  Enough ranting.  I cannot wait until christmas day so I don’t have to do anything but see my little man’s eyes light up when he sees the great stuff that Santa brought for him.

Well, yesterdayI wrote that my dog pooped in his crate.  Well, he did it because he is very very sick.  I feel bad leaving him today but I have to go to my school and pick up some paperwork.  I’ll only be gone for an hour so hopefully he’ll be okay.  I love my dog so much.  He is an english bulldog and he is so loving and playful.  I also need to get some grocery shopping done so hopefully that goes quickly.  My husband got on the scale yesterday and was appalled to see that he has gained 25 lbs on recruiting duty here in chicago.  I noticed he was gaining weight but I haven’t said anything.  He’s super vain so I knew that he would get upset eventually.  Well, he told me that he wants to eat healthy too, so no more little debbie snacks and luncheables for that guy.  It’s tune, grilled chicken, salad, and fruit.  He is going to hate me in about a week.  But it’s for his own good.